A great idea for a book that I will never write

After receiving Mom's hilarious comb-over alert from America's favorite soul-killing consumer icon, I became inspired. Picture this: a political comedy about a grassroots organization fighting for equal rights. I can't decide what sort of comedy to go for. Jon Stewart? Christopher Guest and the mockumentary? Something like Christopher Buckley's Thank You for Smoking? Some sort of a combination of the above?

the setting: an urban or semi-urban area, perhaps in the midwest

the characters: a club or support group for people who sport mullets. They come from all social levels - professional, trailer trash, rock bands, geeks - and include both genders and various ethnicities and religious affiliations. They call themselves the Mulleteers.

the conflict: discrimination

This group of mulleted individuals originally get together to admire each other's bold and cutting edge hairdos and to gain encouragement for personal expression. They gradually discover that the way they choose to style their hair has become an object of discrimination in the workplace. Some have been denied employment because of the mullet; others have never earned promotions, while Stupid Stylish Suzy did (of course, she was also sleeping with the boss, but that's another story).

The more they talk and exchange stories, the more outraged they become. And a grass-roots organization is formed. Mullets of the World unite! They slowly gain more support, not just from fellow Mulleteers, but from other parts of non-mainstream hair culture. Their cause is contagious, and still others join the fight, including, but not limited to: individuals with body art, models of jeans-so-baggy-that-their-butts-show, rabid collectors of celebrity toenail clippings, interpretive dancers, people who pick their noses in public, people who eat their boogers in public, babies with boogers, and Brothers for Bjork.

As they gain more followers, the Mulleteers consider campaigning for rights, and because their base is so large, they start pestering their senators and representatives for legal representation. From now on, it will not be acceptable for equal rights to be denied based on race, color, ethnicity, national origin, religious creed, sex, disability, or bad hair, er, personal expression.

Can they make it? Can the Mulleteers conquer Congress? And the world?