adjustments, thugs, and vacation

As Dolly Parton says in Steel Magnolias, I'm "so confused [I] don't know whether to wind [my] butt or scratch [my] watch!" Seriously, I've been so busy that I don't know up from down. Teaching can be an all-consuming profession, you know.

Let's see. Last week, I observed several English teachers around my high school to get a sense of the kinds of teaching styles that others have and what I might want to adopt. This week, I sat in on my own classes with the guy I'm replacing. This was just to get to know the kids and their routine. It seems to be all about being behaviorally disciplined and not academically rigorous. And, well, I'm sure you can guess my feelings on that. However, there are only three weeks and change left in the semester, which ends after Christmas, so I'm pretty much stuck with his routine and definitely with his grading system. Mysteriously, all kids seem to pass with flying colors. The good thing is, it's just three weeks, so I'll get a batch of kids to call my own very soon.

Hmm, what else? Oh, I think there's something funny in the water at school. There was a contagious, unidentifiable "feeling" that something was going to go wrong spreading around school today, and surely enough, there were three fights that I know of today, two before school even started. I heard tales of administrators and teachers literally chasing one kid around the school because he wasn't supposed to be on campus "stirring up trouble" because he perpetually lives in out-of-school suspension. One poor kid actually said hello to the teachers on hall duty this morning, turned the corner, and walked head-on into a punch thrown by someone he didn't know. The offender bolted, and I'm not sure he was ever found out. Apparently, it's the new trend in school called "getting jacked up." It is now cool to go around punching people you don't know. Our principal got extremely fired up about this one. Violence is semi-manageable when it's among kids who know each other and may or may not have a legitimate beef; random violence is a totally different ball game, though. I'm hoping this was an isolated incident and not some quick spreading trendy disease.

So I start teaching solo next week, and I'm pretty nervous about it. I feel like a sad thing right now - I've been spending my Friday night ironing and devising lesson plans. I'm not trying to wow my students because let's face it - they love the old teacher because he's a cake walk. In his defense, I have to say he is one of the most positive people I have ever encountered, and his focus is more on character building, which is a trade off for the academic rigor. Anyway, all I want is to teach something that will be of interest to the students and maintain smooth sailing until the start of the new semester.

I worry a lot about how to motivate these kids. They are not grade-driven at all, which is a completely foreign concept to me. These are some of the first crack babies coming up to high school. You know, the children of people who experimented with crack back in the late '80s and early '90s. Some of them are just dumb as rocks. It's not necessarily a lack of motivation for doing well in school, although a lot of that is present, but more of the sheer inability to understand even the most basic concepts - like forming a complete sentence. Some students, on the other hand, are stuck in poverty and don't see any way out, so they stop trying. They only come to school for free breakfast and lunch. So, you see my predicament. I come from a bubble in which even the threat of a pop quiz was enough to keep me up hours at night studying. I can think of maybe two or three books that I didn't finish reading in high school. How on earth do I even get this kids to see any merit at all in learning to read and write if they don't give a rat's ass about the consequences of poor performance?

I feel so serious. But teaching is a serious thing. You know this. Oh, and I got two interview offers this week - one for another high school job in my county and one for an International Studies position at UNC Charlotte that I realllllly wanted a month ago. Oh the irony. Anyway, I'm afraid I don't have much to offer on the non-job front. I finished all my Christmas shopping and shipped it home. So, yay for that. I am sooooo looking forward to Christmas break when I can sleep a little bit more and head to Bald Head Island with the Elon buddies. I'm sorry I won't see all the fam, but we did, in fact, get in a nice visit back in October without the holiday stress. And I'm hoping you'll each come visit me at some point. I'm tired of doing all the trekking back and forth to J-town, and well, some nice NC scenery will be a good change for you. Do I hear any takers for Biltmore at Christmas?